The Right Way to do Hamburgers

In honor of our second post, John O and I decided to stick with a great staple... BBQ Bacon Burgers.  In our never ending quest to find the perfect burger, this is our bid.  And every good burger needs to be topped with fried shrooms and sweet potato fries on the side.

Step 1:  This week's beer, IPA's!  I got loose in the store and couldn't walk out empty handed.

An "Indie" Pale Ale?! Hipsters..

Now that you have a beer in hand, lets get to good stuff!

Step 1A:  Store bought BBQ sauce blows, end of story.  So the only option is to make your own.  And as every good dish starts, break out those chipotle peppers.  Mince up some of those bad boys and 1/3 of an onion.  Throw those in a pan and after a few minutes throw in 1/4 cup of apple cider vinegar and let it cook off a bit.  Then add the following:

• 1 to 2 tablespoons of tomato paste
• 1/2 stick of butter
• 1/2 cup of beer
• 3 heavy dashes of worcestershire sauce
• salt and pepper for taste
• and most importantly, a heavy dash or bourbon

Don't be a wuss, throw in some more hot peppers...

Channel your inner southerner

Let simmer for 15+ min till it tastes just right!

Step 2:  Fry up some bacon! Use the same pan that you will use to fry the mushrooms and fries, everything tastes better with a hint of bacon.  

The more bacon the better

Step 3:  Grab a hand full of ground beef and smack it into shape. Handle the beef as little as possible so as to maintain the original beefiness.  Season them with salt and pepper and put them aside to let the salt seep in.  Cut up some more chipotles and onions, put them in a tinfoil pouch, and throw in the oven at 350 degrees for 30 min.

John O cried while cutting these onions

Step 4: Fill up the pan with 3 inches of vegetable oil and let it heat up to 350 degrees.  We like thick cut fries, cut however you want to.  Throw them into the oil and let them fry till they are slightly floppy, the only time when it's better to be limp.

Heart attack 101

Step 5: Time for the shrooms!  You could grill them, you could saute them, but that's no fun.  Grow a pair and deep fry them!  Grab a bowl and throw in the following for a batter:

•  equal parts beer and flour
• dash of baking soda, cayenne, salt, pepper, and paprika
• an egg
• dash of cream
• and a tsp of softened butter, just for Paula Deen

Throw them in the fryer and flip after a few seconds so the batter doesn't rush to one side.  Then fry for a few minutes.  

We tried to fry a chocolate egg too, that didn't work...

Step 5A: Grab another beer, you deserve it

Step 6: Cook up the burgers to your liking.  Since we are poor New Yorkers that don't have access to a grill, the grill pan will have to do.  

Fatties

Step 7: Throw on some nice sharp cheddar cheese, no processed bull shit, no one likes that.  Top with the fried mushrooms, BBQ sauce, bacon, and cause I promised my Mom I would eat more vegetables, lettuce.  This is a PETA approved dish.

Damn that looks delicious!

EAT like a BOSS!

Now you know how to make a real burger