Chicken Rock n' Roll

This was a tough weekend for us, John O and I couldn't go to spring weekend for the first time...  Much nostalgia ensued and I even cried a little.  So we figured the only way to feel like we were back home in the Bronx was to make Pugsley's Chicken Rolls!  But better!  This is also our gift to the Fordham kids graduating in a few weeks.  Memorize this!

Just oozing deliciousness

Yes I realize this is the second post in a row that I am rolling chicken, but this time, we roll chicken in dough! 

First, the sauce!  We really shouldn't have to say this again, but knowing our friends, there are probably a few kids that are slow on the uptake.  Make your own!  Easy and you can do better than that store bought crap.  Easiest way, chop some onions and bell peppers, cook in a sauce pan, add garlic, canned tomatoes (crush them with a fork as they cook) and let simmer.  Add pepper, oregano for taste.

Will anyone take photos for us? Seriously, this was the only decent
photo of the sauce, and there's no sauce!!

With that going, bread some chicken.  Basic breading will do, mix up some breadcrumbs, a little flour, garlic powder, cayenne, and crushed red pepper. Dip the cutlets in egg, then coat liberally in the breading.

Using chicken eggs to bread chicken is kind
of messed up if you think about it...

Pan fry those bad boys up and then cut up into manageable strips so you can roll them.  

For the dough we went to good old Luigi's and bought more dough.  So cheap, they are almost giving it away!  We'll make our own dough eventually.  Roll it out nice and thin.  Hint: throw some semolina flour on the counter and roll it out on there.  Make sure your counter is clean though, no one wants to be rolling dirty.  Cut the dough into nice wide triangles, then lace a few chicken strips, some slices of mozzarella cheese, add sauce and roll 'em up.  Mix some egg wash (roughly 2 parts egg to 1 part water) and lightly brush the dough to make a nice glaze.  Sprinkle with some oregano and parmigiana. Throw in the oven at 375 for about 25 min till done. 

HINT:  When rolling, make sure that the dough is wider than it is long, or else everything will fall out, and that's a fail.

Best after a night out

It was recently brought to my attention that I am not the healthiest eater, so salad for a side! We decided to go with a nice spring mix.  Slice some cucumbers, bell peppers, grape tomatoes, and top with Gorgonzola cheese.  For the dressing, combine olive oil, minced shallots, 2 hefty squeezes of lemon juice, and some pepper.    

Look at you being all healthy.

Because there is nothing healthier than smothering everything with cheese. -Johno

Take the rolls out once the bottoms and edges start to brown.  

Filled with molten lava

You Fordham kids will experience some serious nostalgia with each bite... And they are better than Pugsley's, no joke. You're welcome.  

Stay tuned for next time when we cook... Whatever we want!  You really think we're capable of planning that far ahead? 

So Many Hotdogs!

Saturday night calls for an American classic.  How many hotdogs?

A pyramid of Hot Dogs.

Not much to this one, Graham and I decided we needed hotdogs and a boatload of condiments.  Specifically, mustard, relish, jalapenos, and hot sauce.

Milwakee's Best:  It's the best!

Pro tip:  "Milwaukee's Best pairs well with a nice stinky cheese."  -Graham Gardner

What do you do when C-Town has a sale on Cholula?  Buy ALL the Cholula!!

Chipotle, Chili & Garlic, and Original

As to cooking the hot dogs, there's nothing special.  Grill is obviously your best bet, but an open fire will substitute in a pinch.  Or a griddle pan if your apartment has fire alarms.  Nice thing about hot dogs:  Pre-cooked!

A real man eats them raw.

When the hot dogs are good 'n' black and the buns are good 'n' toasted, put them together and smother with condiments:

And a pickle just for good measure.

And now I lost my train of thought.  Next time we'll do something classy.  The End.

P.S. Made it through an entire post about wieners without any dirty double entendres! What do you say to that, Mr Freud?

Pear and Gorgonzola Pizza

There are basically two ways to do pizza: 

Option 1:  Dollar slice topped with leftover taco meat and hot sauce, paired with Colt 45.

Option 2:  Do it yourself.  

Guess which option we went for.  If you said option 1, you are correct! ...but we didn't document that one.  Graham and actually got some pictures of option 2, so here ya go:

Pear and Gorgonzola Pizza, topped with Fresh Arugula

Pictured: not Leftover Taco Dollar Slice

First off, Procure Ingredients!

Gorgonzola, mozzarella, pears, arugula, olive oil, garlic, semolina flour, wine, and D'oh!

Let's suppose you have some store-bought, precooked dough already at hand.  If that is the case, throw it out, slap yourself, and start over.  Now, either make your own dough, or if you're lazy like us, buy some from your local pizzeria (in this case Luigi's on 88th and 1st). 

Toss that dough:

Preferably accompanied by Italian opera.

And in case you haven't already, pour a glass of wine.

What's the point of cooking without wine?

Meanwhile, preheat the oven to around 400 F.  If you have a pizza stone (which you absolutely should) throw it in the oven to heat up.  While the oven warms up, spread out some oil and garlic on the evenly spread dough.  Top with a layer of thinly sliced mozzarella, then sliced pears, gorgonzola, and arugula.  A little freshly ground black pepper never hurt either.

Transfer to stone once oven is pre-heated.

Once constructed, throw it in the oven for 15-20 minutes.  While you wait, have another glass or three of wine:

This is actually a different photo, Graham is just that good at pouring wine.

Leftover pears?  Sprinkle on some cinnamon and brown sugar, and throw them in a pan with a healthy portion of butter.

These'll only take 5-10 minutes.  You can throw them in while you eat the pizza.

Has it been 15-20 minutes yet?  If no, have some more wine.  If yes, take the pizza out of the oven and let it cool a few minutes.  Then have some more wine.

Or burn off all your tastebuds if you can't wait.

 A few tips to keep in mind (which we ignored):  1. Don't use too much oil as it will pool up and boil in the middle of the pizza.  2. Make sure to apply cheese almost to edge of pizza, as the crust will rise and expand.  3. Add the arugula about halfway through cooking so that it won't shrivel up and lose its flavor.  4. Don't forget the pears!

Like apple pie without the crust.  And made with pears.

The end.  No animals were harmed in the making of this post!  Look for more pizzas in the future. 

Chicken Saltimbocca

After John O's absolutely baller chicken recipe (see previous post), we decided to get a little fancier with our interpretation of chicken saltimbocca.  And for once, there is no bacon involved, but it does involve prosciutto, the fancier version of bacon.

Pinwheel of flavor!

Step 1: Prep time! Get some skinny chicken cutlets and beat that meat into shape.  Since we don't have a mallet I went old school and used my fists.  

Damn you Chris Brown

After the chicken has learned who is the boss, lay it out on a cutting board and sprinkle salt, pepper and some hot paprika on one side.  Go light on the salt, the prosciutto and parmigiano cheese has a decent amount.  Once seasoned, add a layer of prosciutto, spinach, and thin shavings of parmigiano cheese.  Hint: use a peeler to get nice thin shavings off of a block of the cheese.  Also, add a decent amount of spinach, it will wilt up.

Fresh sage is a good addition if you're into that

Now the fun part, rolling up those puppies!  Make sure they are nice and tight, you don't want the good stuff to fall out.  Skewer them with toothpicks to hold your roll together.  Saute them in a pan with oil over medium/high heat and slightly singe the outside.  Turn the heat down and add a 1/2 cup of chicken stock, 2 pats of butter and the juice of half a lemon. Let simmer for about 5-7 min until the chicken is done.  

Looks good enough to eat!

Take the chicken out and then add a small portion of cream to the sauce and let it thicken.  Wilt up some more spinach in a separate pan and throw it all together!

The best chicken roll

For the side throw a bunch of brussel sprouts and 1/2 of an onion into a pan.  Add a pat of butter, salt, pepper, and paprika (optional) for flavor.  Cook until the onions are translucent. 

John O is so badass he made the onions cry when he cut them

Finally time to eat!  Grab a beer and toast some nice bread!  Best paired with a nice inexpensive six-pack from your local bodega.

I am so damn hungry...

 And that my friends, is how you make chicken saltimbocca.  Next week, John O and I make pizza with pizzazz! Get ready for pure magic!

Chicken

It's chicken.

Chicken

Step 1: Cook chicken.

Almost done.

Chicken: Done.

You're welcome.

Pork Chops with Roasted Pineapple

(Note: For you veggins out there, you can substitute tuna for pork chops.)

Ait guys, we're starting to get some momentum here.  Aiming for two posts a week, at least.  We are actively looking for "sponsors", then we can do some real fancy-pants stuff.  So if anybody has any ideas... Otherwise, we'll just keep cooking what's on sale at C-town; and this week iiiiitttttsssssss...

PORK CHOPS!!

First thing's first, let's marinate some meat!

 

 Liberally season each chop with coarse sea salt and paprika.  Throw 'em in a bag with juice of one lemon, couple cloves of garlic, and some chopped peppers (jalapenos work,  we used these mini domincan peppers).

Before Marination.  For best results, prepare chops at least 5-6 hours before cooking.

After Marination.  You can even start this the day before.

You know what goes great with pork chops?  CHIA OBAMA!

Complements of Graham Gardner

But seriously, let's chop some peppers and onions.

With some more hot peppers and garlic, to taste

Time to start cooking.  For best results, I recommend using your oven's broiler for the chops, but you can pan fry or just throw it in the oven at around 350 F as well.  (For fish, it's probably better to pan fry).  

Actual Cooking Tip: When cooking meat such as steak or pork chops, leave it out for 45min to 1hr before cooking.  If the meat is around room temperature when you start cooking, the heat gets distributed through the meat more evenly.

Now, back to the typical nonsense:

Preheated the cast-iron in the oven with a nice knob of butter and some olive oil

After we threw that beast under the broiler, we dropped the onions and peppers in a skillet on medium heat.  Once the onions start to turn translucent you can throw in the garlic and peppers, season with a touch of salt and pepper.  Cook a couple minutes longer and remove from heat.

Like so.

While everything cooks, slice up some fresh pineapple into manageable chunks.  And don't forget those chops.  Bout 5-7 minutes per side should do it.  Pork can get a bit tough if you overcook it, though marinading it gives some wiggle room.  When they're done, they'll look like this:

Oh baby!

Remove the chops, then put the skillet on the stove with all that sauce:

Damn girl, look at that sauce!

Obama approves.

Now the Pièce de résistance:  Drop the chopped pineapple in the sauce, cook for bout 6-8 minutes, low to medium heat: 

Yes.

Now plate up, son.  Top the pork chops with the pineapple and some fresh cilantro, onions and peppers on the side.  It should look and taste delicious. 

Pictured: delicious.

Optional step: throw on a couple fresh slices of avocado.  And by optional, I mean we forgot until the last minute.

Never too late for avocado!

That should just about do it!  I would recommend pairing with a nice crisp pale ale, but since Graham and I are extra classy (and poor)  we went with the extra pale ale (Rolling Rock).  Until some of you bums actually start following us, we'll continue to inundate your facebook feeds with friendly reminders.  Next up is Graham's chicken saltimbocca!  Get pumped.

The Right Way to do Hamburgers

In honor of our second post, John O and I decided to stick with a great staple... BBQ Bacon Burgers.  In our never ending quest to find the perfect burger, this is our bid.  And every good burger needs to be topped with fried shrooms and sweet potato fries on the side.

Step 1:  This week's beer, IPA's!  I got loose in the store and couldn't walk out empty handed.

An "Indie" Pale Ale?! Hipsters..

Now that you have a beer in hand, lets get to good stuff!

Step 1A:  Store bought BBQ sauce blows, end of story.  So the only option is to make your own.  And as every good dish starts, break out those chipotle peppers.  Mince up some of those bad boys and 1/3 of an onion.  Throw those in a pan and after a few minutes throw in 1/4 cup of apple cider vinegar and let it cook off a bit.  Then add the following:

• 1 to 2 tablespoons of tomato paste
• 1/2 stick of butter
• 1/2 cup of beer
• 3 heavy dashes of worcestershire sauce
• salt and pepper for taste
• and most importantly, a heavy dash or bourbon

Don't be a wuss, throw in some more hot peppers...

Channel your inner southerner

Let simmer for 15+ min till it tastes just right!

Step 2:  Fry up some bacon! Use the same pan that you will use to fry the mushrooms and fries, everything tastes better with a hint of bacon.  

The more bacon the better

Step 3:  Grab a hand full of ground beef and smack it into shape. Handle the beef as little as possible so as to maintain the original beefiness.  Season them with salt and pepper and put them aside to let the salt seep in.  Cut up some more chipotles and onions, put them in a tinfoil pouch, and throw in the oven at 350 degrees for 30 min.

John O cried while cutting these onions

Step 4: Fill up the pan with 3 inches of vegetable oil and let it heat up to 350 degrees.  We like thick cut fries, cut however you want to.  Throw them into the oil and let them fry till they are slightly floppy, the only time when it's better to be limp.

Heart attack 101

Step 5: Time for the shrooms!  You could grill them, you could saute them, but that's no fun.  Grow a pair and deep fry them!  Grab a bowl and throw in the following for a batter:

•  equal parts beer and flour
• dash of baking soda, cayenne, salt, pepper, and paprika
• an egg
• dash of cream
• and a tsp of softened butter, just for Paula Deen

Throw them in the fryer and flip after a few seconds so the batter doesn't rush to one side.  Then fry for a few minutes.  

We tried to fry a chocolate egg too, that didn't work...

Step 5A: Grab another beer, you deserve it

Step 6: Cook up the burgers to your liking.  Since we are poor New Yorkers that don't have access to a grill, the grill pan will have to do.  

Fatties

Step 7: Throw on some nice sharp cheddar cheese, no processed bull shit, no one likes that.  Top with the fried mushrooms, BBQ sauce, bacon, and cause I promised my Mom I would eat more vegetables, lettuce.  This is a PETA approved dish.

Damn that looks delicious!

EAT like a BOSS!

Now you know how to make a real burger